14 Things Girls Should Know about Boys

  1. Sexual excitement is intoxicating like alcohol or drugs.

It will cloud your judgment, inhibit critical thinking, and make you do things later that you may regret.

And the consequences for girls are usually more devastating than for boys.

  1. Sex carries profound emotional feelings with it, but boys DO NOT feel this in the way girls do.

Boys are more detached from emotions than girls. Boys usually attach no meaning to sex other than the physical pleasure of it.

In fact, it is often worse than that. Boys who have discovered sex can turn into disgustoids in human form.

Many boys will fantasize having sex with almost every female they see.

This means that boys begin looking at girls as OBJECTS for their own sexual pleasure. They will consciously and unconsciously dehumanize girls, simply because they are too young to be all that thoughtful of a girl’s feelings.

  1. Sex is usually a physical thing for boys.

Sex is pleasure for boys, rarely involving emotions. And once boys climax, which is often very quick, the intoxication rapidly ends.

Boys will often feel embarrassed being intimate and find some way to leave.

They often do not know how to behave after sex. Being embarrassed, they simply want to get away and forget about everything.

Boys can subconsciously seek out girls for caring and nurturing. And they will mix sex with that drive. But since they don’t know what drives them, such intimacy is simply confusing.

Boys are just as confused about intimacy as girls. And the simplest way for them to deal with that confusion is to get away.

  1. Boys have little problem having sex with a girl and then forgetting about her and her feelings.

Since boys are very likely to see girls as sexual objects for their gratification, they are generally clueless and careless about a girl’s pleasure and feelings.

Intimate feelings are uncharted territories for boys. They don’t have experience with how to deal with such feelings.

So they walk away.

  1. When a girl wants to indulge in sex with a boy, she will have to be direct and explicit with him about anything she wants beyond sex.

Boys do not perceive indirect communications. They do not understand a girl’s feelings. They rarely have a sense of a romantic future.

And even if a girl tells a boy what she wants, a boy may not understand.

Or just as likely, under the intoxicating effects of sex, he will just say what he thinks the girl wants to hear.

So he can get what he wants to get.

Remember, sex is intoxicating. It affects the judgment and discrimination. Boys will say what they don’t mean while intoxicated.

  1. Boys and girls usually don’t get a true and clear sense of themselves until they are in their mid-20s.

Until then, girls are more likely to misjudge the intentions of boys and what they really need or want from them.

And if they indulge in sexual intoxication, and a girl lets a boy video her sexual activity, she should not be surprised if it ends up on the Internet.

  1. Boys do not have the maturity to handle a girl getting pregnant.

And girls don’t want to be single parents.

Girls should wait until they are able to handle sexual intoxication before getting into compromising sexual situations.

Girls may want to review the four questions in the chapter, “Marriage,” before they choose to have sex with a certain boy.

  1. Boys, even good ones whose judgment is clouded, will take advantage of a girl if she gets intoxicated and passes out at a party.

This truth is sad, I know, but too many women can tell a girl how it happened to them.

Intoxication shuts down the morals and judgment.

Boys can get caught up in animalistic group urges and exploit girls at parties. And who knows; they may decide to video what they do while the girl is drunk and passed out, then post it on the Internet.

  1. A boy will rarely care about a girl just because she gives him sex.

In fact, he is more likely to stop thinking about the girl once she’s given in.

Sex is not an effective way to make a boy like a girl.

Remember—sex for boys is an act of personal pleasure. Not a romantic encounter.

Their feelings are limited to their physical pleasure. Which explains why they often seem to care little about how much physical pleasure a girl is receiving.

  1. There are plenty of boys, especially handsome and nice ones, who have bets about taking a girl’s virginity.

Some are even trying to be the first to have sex with a hundred or even a thousand girls.

They will lie to have sex with a girl.

A girl is just a number to them.

  1. If a girl engages in sex, she should ask that it be for her pleasure as well as his.

Girls will probably have to be direct about what they want, about what pleases them. Boys often don’t have a clue.

Boys often need training. And a sense of caring. Often, that sense of caring does not develop for many years, without help.

  1. Older men can be more fun and considerate, but they can still be boys inside.

Read the chapter “Rites of Passage” in Creating Your Life: What You Should’ve Learned as a Teen to get details on why this happens.

Older men can easily lie when they say they will someday leave their wife or family for a girl. “Someday” never comes if he is getting what he wants from a girl.

Actions speak. Mere words do not always lead to actions.

  1. Girls will learn quickly that they can manipulate boys with sexual intoxication.

Yes, girls can stimulate a boy, and learn ways of controlling or influencing his behavior.

But a girl should be careful.

She will sooner or later run into one who will be insecure enough to get violent.

  1. If a boy seriously hits a girl, she should not expect him to love.

She should get help immediately, and prepare to leave after the first time he hits.

Especially if they have a child.

Hitting may be just the start.

In many cases, it happen over and over again.


Girls tend to develop their inner selves more easily and more quickly. Boys tend to focus on their external selves and pleasures.

For this reason, girls tend to concern themselves more with inner feelings and the meaning of relationships. On the other hand, boys tend to concern themselves with external activities and their relationships with exterior objects.

Even the most well-intentioned boys can easily objectify girls.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them
and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. 
Jay McInerney

From Sex and Romance: What You Should’ve Learned as a Teen


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