Many people marry for the wrong reasons and end up single, often with obligations, and holding a cynical view of love and relationships. But a short, simple test can help guide you toward what a successful marriage may look like.
If you and your potential spouse can both answer “yes” to most or all four of these questions, then you may end up with a great marriage. Of course, there are no guarantees. Life always has a way of surprising us.
Ask yourself each question. Can you say yes to each?
1) If this person stays just as he or she is for the rest of his or her life, would that be OK?
2) Would you like to become more like this person?
3) If you were to have a child with someone, would you want to have a child with this person?
4) If the child grew up to be exactly like this person, would that be OK?
I once got a call from my wife. She was at the home of a friend whose daughter was going to be married in one week to her high school sweetheart. She was visiting her mother, crying and upset, unsure whether the marriage was a good idea.
Four weeks before, he had called off the wedding. She was devastated and gave back the ring. He had come back to her the next day, sobbing, begging her to come back and get married. They travelled to Las Vegas, but did not get married. When they returned, she had called off the wedding. Her friends gave her mixed messages about whether marrying him was a good idea.
She told her mother that she had felt like she had to go through with it because her parents had spent so much money. But she learned they didn’t care about that.
My wife called me and asked, “What are those four marriage questions again?”
I gave them to her, and she asked the daughter each question.
The daughter answered “no” to all four.
She cancelled the wedding, and in two years she married a wonderful man. And they now have three beautiful children.
The four marriage questions may help you recognize that a potential partner may not be the best fit. They hint at what is required of your character.